Meta fired humans to buy more robot brains

Meta just cut hundreds of jobs while lighting billions on fire for AI infrastructure like GPUs are the only coworkers who don’t ask for health insurance.

If you work there, congratulations: your performance review is now a receipt printed by a server rack.

Meta’s trimming roles across multiple teams — not a “we’re dying” layoff, more like a “we’re reorganizing the humans so the machines can vibe” layoff. They won’t always say the exact count, because nothing says “we respect people” like making your headcount a mystery.

Meanwhile, Mark Zuckerberg is still in his full-body midlife crisis era, telling the market Meta is going all-in on AI. New data centers, more chips, more compute, more everything — except, apparently, payroll.

And Wall Street eats this up. Investors hear “AI” and their brains do the Windows startup sound. Your job gets “streamlined,” the stock gets “optimized,” and Zuck gets to cosplay as the CEO version of Oppenheimer, except the blast radius is your mortgage.

If you’re reading this from your own job, don’t get comfy. Every CEO saw Meta do this and thought, “Wait… I can fire Brad AND buy servers?”