Eric Swalwell wants to be governor while Manhattan DA says hold my beer

Getting investigated by the Manhattan DA while running for California governor is like trying to land a plane while the cockpit is on fire and your campaign manager is yelling “smile for donors.”

POLITICO says Rep. Eric Swalwell is under investigation by the Manhattan District Attorney’s office, and — chef’s kiss — his own allies are urging him to drop the CA governor run before the whole thing turns into a fundraising snuff film.

Details are sealed, which is catnip for opponents and poison for checks. Because voters don’t hear “sealed investigation” and think “innocent until proven guilty.” They hear “coming soon to a grainy press conference” and they keep walking.

Swalwell’s camp can do the usual political wellness-check routine about “cooperating” and “taking this seriously.”

Meanwhile, the donor class does what it always does: pretends it has morals right up until a scandal threatens their investment. Your average rich guy doesn’t mind buying influence — he just hates buying it at full price right before a subpoena.

And let’s be honest — California doesn’t need another “ethics question” candidate. It needs someone who can lower your rent without needing a lawyer to interpret the sentence “I did nothing wrong.” But here we are, watching politics do its favorite hobby: auditioning for a courtroom drama while people can’t afford groceries.