Trump Pulled $3.5B While Holding the Nuclear Codes Like a Side Hustle

$3.5 billion in one year — allegedly off the presidency — which is a sentence that should come with a free barf bag.

The Brennan Center for Justice says Donald Trump generated over $3.5B in personal profits in 2025 by monetizing the office like it’s a Twitch stream and you’re the chat throwing subs.

This isn’t “he invested wisely.” This is “the guy running the country also set up a tip jar on the Resolute Desk.” The report’s core point is brutally simple: most federal officials are bound by ethics rules that stop them from cashing in. The president? Congrats, your manager is exempt.

And before anyone starts screaming “witch hunt” or “fake news,” notice how the scam doesn’t even require sneaking around. The alleged play is structural: if the rules don’t apply to you, you don’t “violate” them — you just treat the Oval Office like a vending machine that dispenses influence when you jam in enough money.

Meanwhile, Congress will hold 11 hearings about a TikTok dance but somehow can’t close the loophole where the most powerful job on Earth can be run like a brand partnership.

If you’re wondering who gets screwed: you do. Because when public service becomes private revenue, policy starts looking less like “the national interest” and more like “premium users get the good outcomes.”