The Yankees Hit 15 Homers in 3 Games and MLB Pretended It’s Normal

15 homers in three games. The Yankees just treated baseballs like they owed them money.

They tied the all-time MLB record for dingers through three games, then set a franchise record by hitting nine in one game—3,695 feet of pure “are we sure this is still a sport?” chaos.

And now we’ve got the alleged culprit: “torpedo bats.” Which sounds like a thing you buy from a guy named Vinny behind a Home Depot and then immediately lose in a boating accident.

If these bats are real—and not just Yankees mythology like “we’re definitely winning the World Series this year”—MLB is about to have the loudest equipment conversation since corked bats, sticky stuff, and whatever the hell was happening with juiced balls that one year everyone swears didn’t happen.

Meanwhile, every pitcher is googling “how to legally vanish” and every front office is calling their bat supplier like it’s a pharmacy in 2009.

And you, the regular human? You’re about to watch ticket prices and YES Network hype jump like this is a tech IPO, while MLB sells you “authentic torpedo bat replicas” for $199.99 because nothing says America like monetizing the loophole before regulating it.